But What is that exactly?  I am beginning to wonder…

Anyone can be an artist right– even a monkey.  Is there a level of expertise that needs to be attained– does rudimentary craft work?

Abstract art is especially suspect.  Any linear, drippy, goopey, sloshy, brush ramble could fall in this category.

These days even realism can be masterbated by many an “artist”.  All you need is a handy dandy computer and a printer to boot– your in.

You could rub shit on the wall and that would be art– HARD difficult art.

Shock art might be two nuns screwing with dildos.  Bad I know– but I’m sure its been done.

Then there is found object art.  Find any damn thing you can and glue it, weld it, fuck it together and– there!  you got art.

Print making I will never understand– I never took that class.  It looked like a real pain in the ass.

Sculpture– this is a good one.  Anything tall and wide could be considered a great sculpture.  It doesn’t matter what the hell it is– take it to a powder-coater, Turn that shit red– and wallah SCULPTURE. Circles, squares, rectangles and cows are especially popular.

Guache– enough said.

Watercolor– for those over 50 that want to avoid knitting.

Street Art.  Not for the Street anymore.  For the Galleries.  If you are not a street artist, don’t apply.  We don’t want your portfolio we want your Krylon. Also in this case please only use digital print outs and stencils.  Also also try to plagiarize everyone’s work you can.  This adds to the result.

Installation.  Install anything, the randomer the better. The more people have no clue what the fuck you are doing, the better off you will be.  You might try filling up a room full of electric eels and then turning the lights off.  Call it Bangers and Mash.  You will be an instant hit.

Portraits.  Only do this if demented faces are your thing.  Otherwise you will get no play.  Here is the formula.  Make half a face, scribble over the parts that are hard to paint, Done!

Fiber Arts, HMMM, maybe leave this to the amish.

Digital art.  The art of manipulation.  Its amazing when your computer makes art for you and you take the credit.  This is the ultimate manipulation.

I’m sure there are lots more– but I’m to tired to care.

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